Fly Peacock

Well...

I guess it's been a few days since I wrote, but Tuesday night was the night that made me feel like I will be able to get to where I need to be, see I have these two crazy amazing cousins that always find a way to make me see the light at the end of the tunnel while I laugh. See for some reason we decided to call our trio The Peacocks (hence the title)  I won't say they're real names but I'll stick with the nicknames we came up for each other. Pinky is the funniest person I have ever met in my life, see he's the type of person that finds humor in everything and anything, but also a very protective person when it comes to family, specifically with all the female cousins. Nena is... well nena, she's the one who kinda makes pinky and I her guardians but at the same time she's the one who checks up on us, individually and as a group.

They didn't know what I've been going through for the past 6 months and I finally decided to tell them what was going on with me, besides all the side jokes and all the laughing we did, Pinky made me realize that I also have to look internally and see if my wording is incorrect for my partner to understand what I'm talking about, he also said that making the steps that I'm making does show that I do want things to be different and that I do want to things to work out, as well to try some yoga and maybe some exercises to help me clear my mind, also confirmed that I am doing what I need to be doing and shouldn't feel like I've been feeling, but that is okay to feel it as well. Nena pretty much agreed with everything that Pinky and I said but also told me to not be the same person I was before if the outcome is the same, to be smarter and do what I need to do for the benefit of my 2 girls.

I gotta say to them thanks. Thanks Peacocks for letting me share a moment with y'all that is very uncomfortable for me, this whole thing of trying new things and being out of my comfort zone is new and I'm trying for the benefit of my kids and bettering myself, I know I show this strong independent woman but I also have my low moments and I guess in my own way, I try not to disappoint people who see that in me, so sharing my vulnerability is hard, so I thank y'all for not changing the way you see me. I appreciate all the conversations we have and all the laughs we share, our bond grows each passing day and I  wouldn't want it any other way.

Love y'all,

Fly Peacock 🦚